Hey mama, you’re probably here because you want to feel like yourself after becoming a mum. I get it, being a mum is wonderful but it’s the hardest job in the world!
Once you become a mum your whole life changes, you no longer have the freedom you used to have. Just being able to wee alone can feel like a challenge! It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost your identity, your life now revolves around someone else and you don’t have time for yourself.
Your priority will always be motherhood, but finding time for yourself is essential. You deserve a break and you deserve to feel like yourself. I’m here to offer you some tips which have helped me feel like myself after becoming a mum.
Make mum friends
The number one thing which has helped me feel like myself after becoming a mum is having other mum friends. I joined an NCT group when I was pregnant, and I’m very lucky to have made friends with some amazing mums. Having other mums to meet up with is incredible and can really help you feel like yourself again. It’s also a bonus if your children are the same age, as you will be going through phases at the same time.
There are loads of ways you can make mum friends, join a baby group such as sensory, music class, baby gym or baby massage. You’ll meet loads of other mums there and it will be easy to start a conversation as you will have lots in common. Ask them how old their little one is, how they’re getting on with weening or any other question which you’ve been wondering yourself.
Have you heard of the app Peanut, it’s a bit like Tinder but for mums? I’ve used this app and have spoken to and met up with other mums with children a similar age to mine. You can also meet other mums through social media or through friends of friends.
Exercising is a great way to feel good about yourself, it will also help you feel like yourself after becoming a mum. But finding the time to exercise when with you’re new busy life can seem impossible.
When I first became a mum, the lack of exercise was something which really affected my well-being. Pre-mum life, I would work out regularly, but I just didn’t feel like I had the time or energy anymore. The longer I ignored exercise, the harder and more impossible it became.
When my baby turned 9 months, the lack of exercise and time for myself started to get on top of me. So my partner suggested I joined a gym which had a creche. This meant I was able to enjoy a workout, go for a swim or just relax for an hour or two.
But you can start small when it comes to exercise, find a home workout video which you enjoy doing or go for a walk to the park. You can ease yourself back into exercise, and remember the goal is to feel good. So do what feels good to you!
Make the most of nap time
When you’re a stay-at-home mum, nap times are precious! I used to spend nap time cleaning the house, but now naptimes are my time to work on my blog or do something else I enjoy, like a hobby. I’ll do a bit of cleaning and meal prepping to keep on top of everything, but I try to make the most of my alone time. Otherwise, it feels like I don’t get any time for myself and my hobbies. It doesn’t matter if the washing piles up a bit and the house is a little messy. Because let’s face it, the washing is never done anyway.
Make time for hobbies
What hobbies did you use to do before you became a mother? You may not have as much time as you use to, but making time for your hobbies will help you feel like yourself again. I love gardening, so in the summer, I make an effort to spend an hour in the garden while my baby naps. Pre-motherhood, I would spend all day gardening which isn’t possible now, but that hour here and there feels amazing!
Once I asked my mum to come round and look after my boy so I could have some time in the garden! It was lovely as I got to spend some time doing what I loved and Nanny had lots of grandson cuddles.
Listen to podcats
Finding time to watch a film or a TV show can be difficult once you become a mum, but you could binge-listen to podcasts while you’re doing bits around the house and especially while you’re driving.
Start a side hustle
It might seem impossible to find time for a side hustle when you’re busy raising your children, looking after your home and trying to take care of yourself. But finding a side hustle will give you another identity outside of motherhood, which is one of the reasons why I love working on my blog in my spare time! There are loads of side hustles to choose from, and you get to decide what you do and how often you do it. Plus it’s a bonus if you bring in extra money each month.
Embrace your new body
Embrace your new body and love it for everything it has done, I mean you just grew and birthed a baby! Your body is incredible! Your body may look different so instead of hating your new body, learn to accept it and be grateful for everything it’s done. Of course, you can take time to keep yourself healthy and in shape, but don’t be too hard on yourself.
Find your new style
You’ll have limited time to get ready now you’re a mum, you don’t want to be stuck looking for something to wear every morning. Throw away any clothes which don’t fit, that are worn out or that no longer suit your lifestyle. Don’t try to squeeze into old clothes, or try to cover yourself in oversized clothes. Find a new style which makes you feel your best, even if that just means investing in a new pair of high-quality leggings to wear around the house, you deserve to feel good.
Ask for help
Everyone needs a little help sometimes, especially mothers. Many mums are responsible for their jobs, caring for their children, managing the household, scheduling family time and so on. The pressure from society to “do it all” makes many mums feel like they can’t ask for help, even when they desperately need it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your partner, family and friends, if they knew you needed help I’m sure they would be there. You could also look at other ways to get help, such as hiring a cleaner once a week to help ease your load.
How do you feel like yourself after becoming a mum? Comment below.