How To Build Your Self-Esteem

I’ve always been very hard on myself and paid too much attention to the self-critical voice inside my head. The voice that makes me second guess everything I’ve said and done, the voice which makes me doubt myself and my capabilities. The voice which stops me from reaching my true potential. Yet the reality is, when we are so self-critical we are crushing our self-esteem. Wouldn’t you agree that we all need to be a little kinder to ourselves?

With such busy lives we can tend to put our own needs on the back burner, as we are busy working, looking after family members and generally being there for everyone but ourselves. And while being there for others can make you feel needed, after a while, you will start to wonder “what about me and my needs?” You deserve to feel good, in fact, you deserve to feel amazing! Do you know that feeling when you’re wearing a new outfit or you’ve just had your hair done or you’ve put some colour on your lips and suddenly you start to walk a little taller, speak a little louder and smile a little bigger? It’s because you have made one small change which has boosted your self-esteem and made you feel good!

Pamper Yourself

You deserve to let your hair down and treat yourself to a pamper session, whether that’s a spa day or an evening at home. Run a bath, paint your nails, pop on a face mask and put your favourite records on. This routine doesn’t need to take up all of your time, just an hour or two every fortnight will help you press that reset button and make you feel good about yourself.

My pamper routine is usually on a Sunday night and it involves running a bath, listening to Ellie Golding and Corinne Bailey Rae and whitening my teeth. When you’re busy trying to run errands and get ready for work whitening your teeth can seem like a bigger task than it is. If you tie it in with your pamper routine you will find the process much more enjoyable.

Exercise regularly

While we are on the topic of pampering ourselves and setting time aside for our own needs, make time also for regular exercise. Regular is the keyword here.

Exercising regularly will enhance your well-being as it realises endorphins and relieves stress.

Reasons to exercise:

• Enhance your well-being
• Reduce stress
• Feel stronger
• Be healthier
• Feel amazing!
• Feel proud
• Boost your self-esteem!

Do something that scares you

Another highly effective way to improve your self-esteem is to do something which scares you, or in other words to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. If you don’t challenge yourself you will never know what you can become. I’ve always found that after I’ve done the thing which I was scared to do, I realise that it wasn’t as scary as I made it out to be. Whether that be speaking up in a meeting, going on a date or joining a new class. Every time you challenge yourself you are giving yourself room to grow.

Reasons to step outside your comfort zone

• Improve confidence
• Raise self-belief
• Expand life experiences
• Boost your self-esteem
• That’s where the magic happens!

Start a gratitude journal

It comes quite naturally for most of us to focus on the negative side of situations and remember past disappointments. By expressing gratitude you will shift your focus onto your positive life experiences and find a deeper appreciation for your life.  Buy yourself a journal and use this daily to express your gratitude. Start by writing 1-5 things you’re grateful for every day, as you do this your self-esteem will be lifted as you recognise your own achievements and become less concerned over the things which you don’t have or haven’t yet done.

Avoid negative influences

Let’s say that you have started putting your needs first by treating yourself to pamper sessions and exercising regularly, you’re also stepping out of your comfort zone and your expressing gratitude. This is all great, therefore you don’t want your self-esteem and positive energy to be put down by any negative influences. Are there any people in your life who hold you back and belittle your dreams and have an overall negative influence on you? If you can, try to limit your time spent with unsupportive people.

Many negative influences also come from social media. We live in a generation where we have an insight into other people’s lives, making it easy for us to compare ourselves and our lives to others. We see perfect photos online and we often forget that this is not a real representation of people’s lives.